College Republican Federation of Virginia

According to a recent Gallup Poll, 92% of Republicans say they are in good or excellent mental health, versus only 85% of Democrats. In fact, only 38% of Dems report they are in excellent mental health while 15% said their mental health was poor. Gallup’s study also found that, surprise surprise, people with high income levels and high education levels are in better mental health than those without.

It seems that social science is finally confirming what Conservatives have known for years, that being smart and successful makes you happier and more fulfilled. Turns out that being a poor, angry hippie isn’t really any fun at all. In fact, the Gallup poll showed an independent relationship between excellent mental health and being Republican. For those of you not familiar with statistics, this means that being Republican actually improves your mental health.

In fact, the poll shows that not only party affiliation but some of the hallmark traits of Conservatives have the same independent effect on mental health including church attendance, education, income and gender (being male). So apparently, the Conservative philosophy has been proven to make one healthy, wealthy, and wise. And the next time a liberal does something crazy, just remember, they can’t help it because they are, in fact, crazy.