College Republican Federation of Virginia

After failing to convince the American people that the sky really is falling, former Vice President Al Gore has announced that he will begin a $100 million campaign to raise awareness about global warming and push for his radical anti-progress agenda.  Saying that the problem is “so interwoven with habits and patterns that are so entrenched,” Gore is going to “change the way the public thinks about it.”  

 Enlisting the usual suspects of Hollywood celebrities and liberal activist and lobbyist groups, Gore is contributing some $2.7 million of his own funds to the project, which will run massive ad buys on popular TV shows such as American Idol and The Daily Show.  The first ad, which compares combating global warming with D-Day and the Civil Rights Movement, will be narrated by actor William H. Macy.  Called the “we” campaign, Gore’s latest effort hopes to enlist 10 million volunteers and run ads in major magazines and on Facebook and MySpace. 

 The “we” campaign will also partner with a wide variety of organizations from the Girl Scouts to the United Steelworkers Union and pair unlikely political bedfellows such as Al Sharpton and Pat Robertson.  Now, I don’t know about you, but I don’t want an army of 10 year old tarts going door-to-door preaching about how the penguins are going to die instead of selling cookies.  I certainly don’t need a sermon with my Samoas.  Furthermore, if this isn’t evidence of a global warming conspiracy, then I don’t know what is. 

It is safe to say that Al Gore has now gone completely mad.  After failing miserably to hoodwink the country by hyperventilating about lightbulbs and wind mills, Gore is now simply going to overwhelm the country with propaganda; a move which makes the D-Day reference frighteningly ironic.  Hopefully someone will point out to our dear daffy duck that he is proposing a solution to a problem his allies at the UN can’t even measure, let alone quantify. 

As offensive as this campaign should be to anyone with half a brain, it is even more disconcerting.  The fact that Al Gore can mobilize $100 million in a largely privately funded propaganda campaign should scare the hell out of anyone who has studied history.  Add to that the fact that this is the worst kind of propaganda, the kind aimed not at convincing through the careful presentation of facts but through the soft peddling of emotional influence, and you have a recipe for the worst kind of mindless populism imaginable.  Throw in the fact that the man who desires to shepherd this freshly frightened flock is none other than Al Gore, a man who has been huffing his own greenhouse gases for so long he thinks that powerplants drown polar bears, and you now have the makings of the worst type of policy-making; mob-driven mania. 

But don’t worry, you’ve simply been thinking wrong.  The real problem is that our society has so many bad things so deeply ingrained in it that the only way out is to sit back, plug in your brain, and let Fat Algore & Friends reprogram you the right way.  So, will it be the red, blue, or green pill?